I Wish It Would Come Sooner

It has been awhile since i last posted..been bz wif the usual and headaches are merely second to none going on even though i do not whine about it...it seems the days go by fast and i have barely have time to think to myself at times...but the days would go slower if there wasnt a day i would think of things...it will just flow like the river going .........................or something like that hah... another month till the the drama and trauma would start again...and endless debates and arguements on who is the best team on the earth? FOR ME i will say MY TEAM...so shut up ur chelksi,scouser and gooner fans cuz i dont give a damn cuz we support for wat we believe in and well lets see who will be on top come MAY...well its all started and how i wish it will come much sooner...soo that i can no longer be bored with sitting upon this chair and mop about my life...which unfortunately i dont...it feels i do but maybe i dont....alot of things have happen...in the past 2 weeks or so...The LONDON BOmbing..which is sad.....and what ive heard that one of my dear friends got severely injured...i wish i could fly out ..but hence i have to stay put and confine myself and take care of this household.....or else there will be no food nor light ...gahhh everything seems tumbling down since my mom got hit by this disease...though my relatives then to point out i maybe young but they see in their eyes that i was well capable enough to handle the emotional distress..well i was...and i am still..i salute my mom that she has the strength to fight it and to carry on..and i respect my dad to handle all this stress...but hence my sibling could not even though she is older...but she acts like a child and wanting more and more attention...which annoys me....ever since i have grown she treats me as a kid..which i hated it..but of course she has a mental disorder....she can go up herself all she wants....cuz she doesnt really care of herself....hatred has grown upon the years and it can never be undone at times....hence my theory why i dont wish to look upon her face ever...but this is what i can only let out through my hands doing the work and let my mind be free of this stress...the longer i would stay in this cradle ..the longer i feel the strain the family is going through....but at least i have those who are on my back and help me go through these periods...not knowing that they do not know what has lingered into my mind...because i have my own space and i get to let it all go...i do not burden others..i burden myself and i have dug holds bfore that i have crawled out...but this is one hole i wish to crawl out faster...it feels strange...the past 7 months has gone...and all these has been happening...everyone has been telling me..or maybe i tell it to myself...that this is the test of god..god loves his followers and hence he shall give a test of faith..i guess this is a test for all..but well and truly i guess i have succeeded somehow in knowing i have done my part and helping my mom feel normal again....i guess i shall stop and let this be another part of another story...till then...signing off